Not good enough.

These three words ring incessantly in my head, tug my heartstrings when I mouth it and work up those tear ducts yet again.

Perhaps I fooled myself yet again. thinking all is lost, I'm not that bad. I knew I was never the cream of the crop, I mean, how could I be right? I never excelled in academia, I never gotten that straight As. In fact, I work so hard to get a B+ that most people complain about. I was never selected for special projects and I have nothing, I mean NOTHING that I can say I got that's unique and special. Other than being stupid.

I wish I could complain about the long applications, I wish I could complain about the uncomfortable formal attire, I wish I could complain about the spam of emails. I wish I was good enough.

I think I'm just not. People probably expect me to get an ordinary boring admin desk-bound job, get married, have kids then be a housewife.

As simple as that. People don't expect much from me.