invisible

A thought could be a scary thing. A thought infiltrating that volatile mind, unleashing a thousand of different scenarios in your head. The self-fulfilling prophecy, or in this case the self-fulfilling thought. Things go awry, tears flowing down, bridges broken.

And there you stand alone, far from everyone else. Breaking down, unseen and unnoticed.

All from a single thought. Scary isn't it? How a thought can be.

Musings of a (lonely) girl in America

One thing I think I have definitely learnt while being here is to be, well, alone. For the independent, free-spirited people out there, how difficult can that be, right?

Well, let's just say that it felt weird to be eating alone, walking to and from school alone, travelling alone. Ever since the boyfriend became part of my life, doing things alone just seemed.. well there was never a time for it. So long walk to school? He walked with me. Coming home after dates? Check he sent me home. Eating at random timings? He would eat with me, or if not there would be tons of people around.

Being in NTU and being in hall for about 3 years, I can safely say that I do know a decent number of people. To the point of walking around school and not seeing a familiar face would seem VERY weird. But right here in UW, it's the complete opposite. Seeing a familiar face makes me happy, because, well, it hardly happens.

Before this trip, the thought of being alone repulsed me. It scared me into believing that when you're alone, you look like some sort of a social pariah who just wouldn't fit in. Then I thought again, when was the last time I was alone? Maybe it occurred so long ago that I probably forgot how it felt like to be alone.

Well, the sense of independence is starting to creep in. It's not that big a difference but I feel it. I feel this sense of, "hey look! I'm not scared anymore and I am the independent free woman!"feeling. Grocery shopping alone, eating alone, taking flights alone, it made me spend time with myself. To get to know myself better and sit down and reflect through things.

I'm glad I'm here. Much as I miss home, I think I am growing up.