Have you ever been so fat that people make fun of you? Have you ever hated yourself, wishing sometimes that you weren't born into this world? Has the thought of trading souls with the devil just to look good cross your mind? It all did for me.

It's funny how some people scorn with disdain at anorexia or bulimia, it's funny how they think it's the stupidest thing anyone could do to hurt themselves. What they don't know is the pain of everything a person has to go through, the struggle of self-hate and worthlessness of one's own body.

Watching the film ' To be Fat Like Me' made me revisit those memories, those haunting memories. People you love, people who love you telling you in your face how fat you were, making snide remarks about weight gain or flabby thighs. Even the well-meaning remarks like "maybe you should exercise more' or " try to eat more healthy food" never failed to feel like daggers, stabbing the measly enough self-esteem in me.

With all the pain and pressure, whether self-inflicted or not, how could anyone wonder why wouldn't anyone end up with an eating disorder. The pain of hiding that eating disorder would seem far less severe that going through the taunting or any comments related to weight. Hearing words like " Oh you look thinner now" felt better than winning a lottery and the feeling of fitting into smaller size clothing? Priceless.

All that obsession stemmed from the unwillingness to feel the pain of being sneered and jeered. Is it still as funny now? Is it still that unbelievable that one would resort to methods of harming the body just to lose weight?

Think again people. I am over this phase now and yet it pains me so much that the haunting memories can leave me distraught. The next time you poke fun at someone being overweight or fat, realise what you have done.

Sometimes, that damage can never be undone.