How different I have become, from the past. I can't tell. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it has always been like that, maybe it's a new start which would never end. I'm starting to feel very unsure, rather jaded. Being holed up in the room alone suddenly becomes a comforting thought.

The highs and lows have become too sudden, too frequent. How come there's no stability at all? What truly makes me happy, what makes me, me.

I don't want to drink to make those crazy thoughts in my head go away. In the night, things creep into my head and I hate those thoughts. Things going wrong, bad things happening. I need to sleep, I really need to sleep.

That peace which surpasses all understanding, where art thou?