So hello monday blues and goodbye happy CNY week. So yes, I am official 22 now and I still won't admit it ( at least not to the treadmill or cross trainer, I still key in 21). But regardless of the change in age I experienced over the past week, I have to say that my week was nothing my awesome.

How not to love my friends back in Singapore, the crazy one in UK and the awesome ones here. Thank you all for making my birthday memorable. But the most memorable thing happened was when my cutest parents started singing happy birthday over the video cam and pictorial evidence right here.

Aren't they cute? I miss them so much.

So anyway, I loved the well-wishes, the celebratory dinner and the cupcakes. Thank you Velda, Sarah and Tong!

So, now to serious thoughts. Before I embarked on this exchange programme, I asked myself what I really wanted to get out this. At that time, I told myself I wanted to meet as many people as I could. And that was what I really set out to do.

Now I am about a month into this exchange programme here and counting the number of foreign friends I've made? Probably 3 or 4. How many keepers as friends? Probably none. And I know it as well, friends are friends when they treat you like you are worth it. Party people and people you have fun with aren't really friends especially when all they do is to get drunk and do drugs. So much for networking. Of course let's not forget the Pinkertons. Some people just want to be friends because we're exotic looking and we're Asians.

I'm glad I met awesome people like Anthea and Wang Hao, the people who go all out for us to show that we matter. And because of that, they matter too. I am not ruling out the possibility of making nice real friends who are foreigners, because that's possible too and I'm all out for it. Until then, these people are really acquaintances for now.

Things are getting easier to adjust too and today Benson came over to visit. It kinda reminded me of my time in Hall 12, a place where I learnt to be an adult and my first form of independence by staying away from home. It was the best times in my life and there are many things about it which I would never forget.

I know that when I get back, things would be very different. I wouldn't even be living in the hostel anymore and would have to commute daily from school and plan my timetables to make sure everything's perfect. There would be no room to crash when I'm feeling sleepy, no late night suppers or random talking sessions, no more hall activities to look forward to, no more friends who will randomly knock on each other doors, no more dodo :(

Well, it's part and parcel of growing up, as I always tell myself. I know that I cannot expect myself to be in the same situation again and again after years and I have been greatly blessed to be able to be in the dorm for 3 years. Also, with this Seattle trip and all the awesome friends I have made as well as the awesome ones I kept throughout these years, I am thankful.

Yet there this sad lingering feeling of not going back to what I am so used to. Maybe I'm not sad, maybe I'm just scared because the world is going to be so different. Heck, I am going to turn 22 soon and somehow these thoughts scare me. The going out to the society to work and start calculating my finances. Things are going to change whether I like it or not. The years in the university have taught me many things but it has also made me so comfortable that I do not want it to change.

Random rants and thought. Please pardon me if you find me incoherent.

The whole day was spent with the friends from church and in church as well. Somehow, church feels different yet the same, but messages from God rings through.

Well, since we share the same love and are binded by the same love, it is not difficult talking and hanging out with the Christian friends here.

Major plans, NBA game, portland shopping, the works.

Well I'm excited. I had stuff in my head to write about, but when it comes down to writing it, suddenly everything dissipates.

It's 6th Jan right here in Seattle, so let me start this post by wishing Amisha a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Yes you're 22 already but so what, it's such a small number if we're going to live till we're 100! So enjoy your birthday and no throwing of tantrums okay!

So yes, back to Seattle. It has been nothing but fantastic to me so far. Taking it all the new sights, the whole university district where apartments and shops are filled with college students. Learning from a whole new perspective and learning to be independent. So far, it has been awesome and I think that is also because I have the nicest housemates ever.

Yet, then again, I still think of home alot. I know I'm supposed to be embracing this whole new life, but every little bit of thing reminds me of home. It has been better and I don't crave for my bak chor mee as much as I did before so hopefully things would be better. And now, I even appreciate my time alone.

Looks like I am going to board the ship of the adventures abroad, AHOY here I come!

First day in America, and it's not easy.

Being in a plane for 24 hours and wanting to get out, to my dismay, the plane landed in Washington DC and not NY.

Being alone and not knowing what to do for the first hour was scary. Luckily, I'm safe and sound now and plans have been mapped out.

But there's one thing that's wrong. I miss my family and boyfriend so much. It pains me when I think of them because tears keep streaming down. I cannot help it.

Please let me see someone familiar, I am really not used to this.

And dear God, please protect me, as You have always been.

The last three days spent with dad and mom was just awesome. I know I will definitely miss them so much and the love felt when I was with them was just.. comforting.

No politics, no stress on exchange, no work stress. Just us happy family.

Missing kenneth though :( Hope he would be alright for his exams.

Dear God

I don't know what to say or what to feel. I'm honestly scared. So many times I had that hope in me that a miracle would happen. That one day I'll get it, in Your way.

But why does it seem to get harder and harder each time? How come it's bad news all over again? How come You haven't sent anything reassuring yet?

I'm scared. I'm sad. I am truly down now. I daren't hope anymore. I know You have your plans for me. But please Lord, just protect me and make everything alright. I know You will.

Amen.